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King of Hazard Land! Earn all Trophies in the game.
"You. Are. The. MAN! (Unless you are a lady. In which case, I apologize.)"

Observe the Grenade Kill 3 Tester employees with a single shot from the grenade launcher.
"Test the grenades: check!"

Say "No" to Pots Shoot 30 potted plants.
"Look at 'em. Just sittin' there, bein' all green and stuff. They were askin' for it!"

Meat Your Maker Destroy all of the meat in the Level 2 meat locker.
"Have a beef with the owner? Steaking your claim? Beating your...hey, I can go on all day."

Just a Flesh Wound Complete a level without dying.
"Eight million corpses in this level...and you're not one of them."

Fire Hazard Shoot and destroy 30 fire extinguishers.
"Extinguishers. They're not just for fires anymore."

Hazard Master Complete the game on the Maximum Hazard difficulty setting.
"You've done this before, haven't you?"

Boom Blow up 50 explosive objects.
"Hey...I didn't pay for 'em. Why should I care?"

Maxx Karnage Collect 20 Hazard pickups.
"Maxx Karnage...sounds like a cool action hero name."

Dances With Guns Complete both nightclub encounters without any of the dance-bots being destroyed.
"Do dancing robots dream of disco sheep?"

Bedlam Basher Kill a Bandit from behind with a melee attack.
"Good for you. Coward."

Head Cheese Kill all enemies in the butcher shop with head shots.
"Nice shooting! But it's not like you're PAYING for that ammo. Feel free to use more."

Pseudo-Hazard Complete the game on the Major Hazard difficulty setting.
"Well...at least you didn't have it set to 'Easy...'"

Multiplayer Master! "What? No multiplayer? Sigh. Well...not like we can take the trophy back NOW..."

Hazard Avoider Complete the game on the Minor Hazard difficulty setting.
"Sure you won...my GRANDMOTHER could win on 'Easy!'"

Meet Quentin. Meet Quentin.
"DUDE!!!!!"

Beat the Snot out of Wellesley with My Bare Hands Defeat Wally Wellesley in the final boss battle.
"Like I said…"

Well, I Heard Them Scream Kill 50 enemies with the Plasma Rifle.
"Plasma Rifles--they're not just for Space Marines anymore."

Shield Master Collect 20 Master Shield pickups.
"It's not like I was afraid of dying...I just wanted the trophy!"

...Where Credit is Due Watch the credits from beginning to end.
"Hey...aren't they the guys who made Dead Head Fred?"

Deja-Vu (All Over Again) Defeat Sting Sniperscope yet AGAIN on Level 7.
"I. Have had. Enough. Of YOU!"

Draw Kill 50 enemies with the Dual-Wield Six-Shooters.
"Now all we need is the spaghetti..."

Pull! Kill 50 enemies with the shotgun.
"That was a blast!"

Talk! "What do you mean the interrogation feature was cut?!? Here...just take the trophy."

Your Turn Defeat Altos Tratus.
"Forecast for the next level: no more clouds."

Tramm Ride Defeat the Tentacle Beast of Tramm.
"One-two shot right to the tentacles."

Pure Energy Kill 50 enemies with the Energy Pistol.
"Blaster? I hardly know 'er!"

Second Amendment Kill at least one enemy with every available gun.
"The developers put all those guns in the game for a reason..."

Housing Crisis Escape from Dexter's mansion.
"I gotta get me a house like THAT!"

Auto Dealer Kill 50 enemies with the sub-machinegun.
"You would think this one would have been automatic. Get it? Automatic? Nothing?"

Death Hazard Score 20 single-shot Zombie kills.
"Don't these things usually hang out in shopping malls?"

Eat FIST! Perform 10 single-hit melee kills.
"In Hazard Land, the hand can be used like a knife."

Feeling Punchy Defeat five enemies in a row using melee combat.
"Not as fast as shooting...but it sure is satisfying."

Blind Luck Kill 25 enemies using blind fire.
"Sorry. Didn't see you standing there."

Better Than One Score two headshots with one bullet.
"Eat lead...both of you!"

Plink Kill 50 enemies with the Hazard pistol.
"Frag you."

Deja-Vu Defeat Sting Sniperscope again in Level 3.
"Your present ends now. Again."

Russian Attack Kill 50 enemies with the AK-47.
"They might be socialists, but they make a pretty good gun."

Uncovered Destroy 20 destructible cover objects.
"I know it's a waste of ammo...but I LOVE that de-rez effect!"

Peekaboo...I Shot You! Kill 50 enemies with the Sniper Rifle.
"Zoom, pow! Right to the moon."

Russian to the Finish Defeat General Neutronov.
"From Hazard, With Love."

Head of the Class Score 100 headshots.
"Don't lose your head! Oh...too late."

No Pain, No Gain Kill an enemy with an explosive that also damages you.
"That's gonna hurt me more than it hurts you. Well...maybe not quite as much."

Stung Defeat Sting Sniperscope.
"Your present ends now."

Migraine Score 50 headshots.
"That's using your head!"

Disco is Dead Defeat Sonny Tang.
"Sonny, YOUR ass is kicked!"

Headache Score 20 headshots.
"A shot in the head is worth two in the chest."

Hands-On Approach Defeat an enemy using melee combat.
"I don't need a stinkin' gun to deal with YOU!"

Straight-A Student Complete all of the in-game tutorials.
"Like I had any choice..."

Take 5. Pause the game for the first time.
"Hey...come back here and play!"