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All Done Unlock all trophies.

I am Speed Complete the game in less than 2 hours.

Excellent Job Following Directions Obtain all other trophies.

Commitment Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.

Productive Day Sleep for more than one hour.

Card Discarder Discard at least 2500 Cards

Super Go Outside Don't play The Stanley Parable for ten years.

Territory Scratch in every chapter.

Sneakitty Go through Midtown without being detected by the Sentinels.

Can't Cat-ch Me Complete the first Zurk pursuit without being caught.

Pacifist Complete the Sewers without killing any Zurks.

I Remember! Gather all B-12 memories.

Eye Opener Complete the game and open the city.

Al-Cat-Raz Go to jail.

Scratch Scratch the vinyl in the club.

No More Lives Die 9 times.

Badges Collect all badges.

Catwalk Reach Midtown.

Cat's best friend Nuzzle up against 5 robots.

Cat-a-strophe Try to play mahjong with the robots.

Boom Chat Kalaka Dunk the basketball.

Meowlody Bring all the music sheets to Morusque.

Télé à chat Browse through all of the TV channels.

Cat-a-Pult Jump 500 times.

A Little Chatty Meow 100 times.

Curiosity Killed the Cat Wear the paper bag.

Cat Got Your Tongue? Have B-12 translate a robot.

Not Alone Meet B-12.

Missed Jump Fall inside the city.

Test Trophy Please Ignore Test trophy description! Replace this!

Speed Run Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)

Settings World Champion Set all settings sliders in the menu to all the available numbers.

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Welcome Back! Quit the game and then start it again.

You Can't Jump No seriously, we disabled it.

Click on door 430 five times Click on door 430 five times.

Get Your First Trophy Awarded for getting any of the other trophies as your first.

Beat The Game Complete The Stanley Parable.

Legend of the West You've become a true legend of the West!

Mowing Them Down Kill 500 enemies with a mounted weapon in any game mode.

Zed's Dead, Baby Attain 100% Game Completion statistic in Undead Nightmare.

All's Right With the World Complete "On a Pale Horse".

Fan Service Find and break a unicorn.

The Superior Dance Complete "Mother Superior Blues Survivor Mission".

Chupathingy Find and kill a chupacabra.

Mad Marston: The Trail Warrior Attain Rank 5 in all Undead Nightmare Challenges.

Spinning Plates Have every territory saved at the same time during the Undead Nightmare.

Judge A Man By The... Complete "Cure For Most of What Ails You" and "Get Back in that Hole, Partner" Survivor Missions.

Six Years In The Making Find and kill a sasquatch.

The Downward Spiral Complete "Curious Tales from Blackwater, USA" Survivor Mission.