ultigamer2004

Headshot Expert Kill 5 Enemies in a Row with Headshots

50 Kills: AK-47 Kill 50 Enemies with the AK-47

Great Barnacled One It’s dark inside the whale, but the men appear to be intact.

Wooden Trousers “Aye, they’ll float,” nods Steady Beard.

…Bearded Travelers The absurdity of underwater speech only adds to the wonder apparent on his face.

The Path of Waiting “Time flows quickly in contemplation of the Great One’s splendor.”

Well Met… “Er, hullo,” stammers Brave Beard.

The Long Way “Really very sorry for scuttling your promotion and all that,” offers Steady Beard.

Fountain of the Faithless “Give me water, and I’ll teach it to carry me!”

QUITE GOOD AT FLOWERS “Quick, while we’ve a chance!” whispers Hasty Beard, leading the way to the boat.

Complimentary Trip to the Afterlife “Shouldn’t you be a bit more chipper, having won and all?” prods Steady Beard.

Out of the Deepening Darkness Collapsing, the maelstrom tosses the men in their barrels toward the surface.

Vengeance Satisfied The creature drags the struggling men deeper beneath the waves, finally tossing them aside in disgust.

Womenfolk in the Water Finding the dark water empty, the men quickly regret their course of action.

In Need of Assistance Heedless of the warning, the burly seals spread out as they swim, until the spell around them weakens and they become human once more.

Getting Your Beards Wet The orbs lead on, out through the cavern’s deep tunnels and beyond the island.

The Back Door Following the glow of moonlight, the men step out eagerly into the night.

QUITE GOOD AT THROWING “Great idea!” cuts in Steady Beard. “How about a demonstration?”

Into the Deepening Darkness The men paddle furiously, but the widening vortex is inescapable.

She's a Goner Clinging to wooden barrels, they watch their beloved ship sink into the depths.

Poor Beastie With a piercing screech, the creature disappears back into the depths.

A Bargain to Make “Right, then. Let’s be off!” commands Brave Beard, striking a leaderly pose.

Foiled by the Tree The jaws snap shut over the shattered tree, launching the men out into the deepening darkness.

Thus is Thy Fate Sealed With a rumble, the island sinks slowly into the sea, carrying all hands with it.

Nice Day Surfacing, they find themselves men once more, who, for the moment, splash about like happy children under the moonlit sky.

Begone! The men push off, paddling the raft beyond the island and into the night.

Ye've Done It “This day, you reach the end of a story,” she continues, “and the last of its paths.”

250 Headshots Defeat 250 Enemies with Headshots

Energy Conscious Turn off the television

30 Kills: Mk-NDI Kill 30 Enemies with Mk-NDI Grenades

Dude, It's Like, Cannibalism Hoagie eats a Hoagie

And Then the Universe Implodes Try to mix the disappearing ink with Booboo-B-Gone

Olive Branch Return the stamp album to Weird Ed

Rap Sheet: Thief Pick up 15 things that don't belong to you

I'm Sure He'd Never Notice Try to swap the textbook with the stamp album

Moronic Drone Get a job

Only George Can Destroy a Tree Destroy a cherry tree

Only Hoagie Can Make a Tree Create a cherry tree

Professional Fortune Hunter Find 40 Treasures

Far, Far Away... Drive a total of 50 km

Rap Sheet: Yegg Open the safe

Rap Sheet: Kleptomaniac Pick up 30 things that don't belong to you

Novelty Enthusiast Get all six novelty items

Voiding the Warranty Try to put something metal in the microwave

That Only Works with Alligators Try to flush the hamster

Obvious, Really... Make it rain

Windsock it to Me Change the flag

That Joke Never Gets Old Squirt five different people with disappearing ink

Costume Quest Clothe Laverne in the costume

Rap Sheet: Vandal Deflate Oozo