Neophenom

Act I, Player 0 Complete first traunch of Freelance Police Academy courses and enter Park 2. Also, look up "traunch."

Clean Up in Aisle 666 Successfully rid the local Nutrihole of its netherwordly vandals.

Act II - The Actening Complete the second wave of Freelance Police Academy Courses and enter Park 3. Now might be a good time to rehydrate.

A Clue? Gesundheit! Earn an A in Get a Clue

High Anxiety Collect all balloons and rings in the No Fun House, like some sort of obsessive compulsive hummingbird.

Pomp and Aquabears Complete all of the Freelance Police Academy courses, and attend a hastily-arranged graduation ceremony.

Disco Ninja Aquabear Suit Sneak into the Aquabear Meeting

Rat Whacker Hit five or more rats with a mallet. This is how Norman Bates got started, you know.

From Hell's Spleen Shoot Captain Aquabear off the DeSoto... that'll teach 'im.

Takin' it Queasy Climb out onto the crane. Try not to barf.

Taste the Prismatic Projection Feed Max every variety of icky blobs. Don't worry, he won't explode or anything.

The Freelance Student has become the Freelance Master Definitively put an end to the menace of Captain Aquabear... for now.

CONGRATULATIONS! Graduate from the Freelance Police Academy - Your Parents Will Be So Proud

Streak Freak You got Jeff to perform 5 tricks consecutively, and irrepressibly.

Shotgun! Blast five or more Aquabears while successfully navigating the DeSoto into the spooky depths of the miniverse.

Sequel Bait, or Just Plain Bait? Listen to the tiny impotent screams of the vanquished Captain Aquabear. You sadist.

Bunts Are For Losers You hit 10 Home Runs in one game of Fizzball. We'll need to ask you to pee in this cup.

Love Machine Earn an A in the Tunnel of Tough Love

Grandmaster Splash Earn an A in Sky Patrol

Hoverachiever Earn an A in the No Fun House

Most Valuable Fizzer Earn an A in Fizzball

Nacho Dust Buster Avoid all Scrumpo Grenades in Sky Patrol Activity, maintaining cleanliness of your attire. Relatively.

Whisper Winner You trained Jeff. Now you should be able to apply these skills to many situations, like, um ...

One Trophy to Rule Them All! You did it! You collected every dang trophy in this game! Your reward? Another trophy of course! But this time a big shiny Platinum one!

Lumpy Cum Laude Earn an A in all 9 Freelance Police Academy Training Grounds and get a new diploma in Graduation! If you've earned 10, the game is broken.