MonkeyFlop

Food For Thought Achieved a score of 1,500 pJ on the cerebrospinal fluid sample.

Water Bear Necessities Feed 4 rods to the tardigrade in the fresh water sample.

1st Division Play a hundred matches

Spyware Capture 1000 Nodes

Moving Along Clear the 3rd page of local levels

You're Winner! Unlock all bonus stages.

It's Got Electrolytes! Achieved a score of 1,500 pJ on the fresh water sample.

Pica-Chew! Achieved a score of 1,500 pJ on the soil sample.

BLOODUH!? DERE! Achieved a score of 1,500 pJ on the blood sample.

You Can't Cut Back On Funding! You Will Regret This! Achieved a cumulative score of 6000 pJ

Logic Bomb Capture 100 Sentinal Nodes

Almost Broke The Internet Earn $30,000,000

Jackpot Collected all 3 crowns from a dungeon

Aimbot Skills Successfully hack a node using the hexpad

Would You Like A Cookie? Use Exploits 100 times

Butt-em-up Battles Act 1 - Silver Achieve silver for all levels of Butt-em-up Battles Act 1

Bogus Discover BOGUS

Out of bounds Threw something out the window

Wrecking Ball Smashed 10 items all at once

Is This Easy Mode? Clear the 4th page of local levels

Super Speed Beat 30 of the goal times on the local levels

Mad Skills Beat 60 of the goal times on the local levels

Adept Player Reach level 22

King Me Beat the challenge mode

Hacktivist Successfully complete the coding puzzle

I Know Kung Fu! Reach a Skill Rating of 85%

Able Underwearrior Survive 5 minutes in Endless Butt-em-up

Butt-em-up Battles Act 1 - Gold Achieve gold for all levels of Butt-em-up Battles Act 1

Narcissus Stood in front of the mirror for an awkward length of time

A crushing blow Squished a spider with a weapon

Mouse Trap Killed a mouse with cheese

So Close... And Yet So Far Clear the 5th page of local levels

Ace Player Reach level 33

Root Kit Capture 50 Root Nodes

Trojan Horse Use hydras 100 times

Version 2.0 Unlock all upgrades

Noob No More Complete all Insane Survivor levels in single player mode

Strong-armed Thrown items a total of 4572 Cubits

End game - Speedrun Beat the game in less than two hours

Butt-em-up Battles Act 2 - Silver Achieve silver for all levels of Butt-em-up Battles Act 2

Butt-em-up Battles Act 2 - Gold Achieve gold for all levels of Butt-em-up Battles Act 2

Eating your greens Ate one of everything

Flame-thorough Burned one of everything

Bomberperson Blew up 50 items with a bomb

Break the Locks Unlocked Free Run

Fowl Play Dispelled 50 flying animals

Hoarding Collected 1000 objects in Scavenger Hunt

It's not a Bug... ...It's a Feature. Dispelled 50 spiders

Leave no vase unturned Gone into every secret room in the castle

Pesky Pests Dispelled 50 mice and rats