MikeOhMeelah

Skip the Stairs Ride Elevator up to Palace

Don't Let Him Get Away Defeat Baron at Palace

The Collector Collect 25 Precursor Orbs

Head Cheese Collect 250 Metal Head Skull Gems

Scout's Honor Catch Scouts in Haven Forest

Strip Mine, Not Yours Blow up Strip Mine in Eco Wells

Kersplash! Destroy Equipment at Dig

Great Barnacled One It’s dark inside the whale, but the men appear to be intact.

Speeding Slowly Win Class 3 Race at Stadium

No Man is a Canyon Use Items in No Man's Canyon

Testosterone Pass the Tests of Manhood

Sunken Ship Destroy Ship at Drill Platform

No More Lives Die 9 times.

Clap Hands Get Seal Piece at Dig

Speed Quicker Win Class 2 Race at Stadium

What's That Smell? Escort Men Through Sewers

Doggin' the Hellcats Destroy 5 Hellcat Cruisers

The Full Glow-Up Customize the look of Cal, BD-1, and the Mantis

Speed Speedily Win Class 1 Race in Stadium

Grin and Baron It Defeat Baron in Mar's Tomb

Pedal to the Metal Destroy Metal Kor at Nest

CONFESSION Connor made the android confess

We're All Friends Here Rescue Friends at Fortress

Bot Bot Boom Boom Protect Hideout from Bomb Bots

Wooden Trousers “Aye, they’ll float,” nods Steady Beard.

Timber! Destroy Drill Platform Tower

…Bearded Travelers The absurdity of underwater speech only adds to the wonder apparent on his face.

I Heart Heart Get Heart of Mar in Weapons Lab

Heavy Distortion Attack the Metal Head Nest

Finders Keepers Find Sig in Underport

Who Knew Krew Blew? Beat Krew in Weapons Lab

Head Master Collect 510 Metal Head Skull Gems

The Path of Waiting “Time flows quickly in contemplation of the Great One’s splendor.”

Well Met… “Er, hullo,” stammers Brave Beard.

The Long Way “Really very sorry for scuttling your promotion and all that,” offers Steady Beard.

Fountain of the Faithless “Give me water, and I’ll teach it to carry me!”

QUITE GOOD AT FLOWERS “Quick, while we’ve a chance!” whispers Hasty Beard, leading the way to the boat.

Complimentary Trip to the Afterlife “Shouldn’t you be a bit more chipper, having won and all?” prods Steady Beard.

Out of the Deepening Darkness Collapsing, the maelstrom tosses the men in their barrels toward the surface.

Vengeance Satisfied The creature drags the struggling men deeper beneath the waves, finally tossing them aside in disgust.

Womenfolk in the Water Finding the dark water empty, the men quickly regret their course of action.

In Need of Assistance Heedless of the warning, the burly seals spread out as they swim, until the spell around them weakens and they become human once more.

Getting Your Beards Wet The orbs lead on, out through the cavern’s deep tunnels and beyond the island.

The Collectivist Collect 125 Precursor Orbs

The Back Door Following the glow of moonlight, the men step out eagerly into the night.

Into the Deepening Darkness The men paddle furiously, but the widening vortex is inescapable.

QUITE GOOD AT THROWING “Great idea!” cuts in Steady Beard. “How about a demonstration?”

She's a Goner Clinging to wooden barrels, they watch their beloved ship sink into the depths.

Poor Beastie With a piercing screech, the creature disappears back into the depths.

A Bargain to Make “Right, then. Let’s be off!” commands Brave Beard, striking a leaderly pose.