Mattakeyo

Olive Branch Return the stamp album to Weird Ed

Sewer Rat Destroy a cult water treatment pump and make them thirst for revenge (Solo Campaign only).

Rap Sheet: Thief Pick up 15 things that don't belong to you

I'm Sure He'd Never Notice Try to swap the textbook with the stamp album

Fashion First Purchase $1000 in clothing (Campaign only).

So Close... The Old Warehouse - Reach the end with all characters... and fail

Drive By Stop an armored truck by taking out the driver.

Gladiator Play a game on Utopia Coliseum

No Stone Left Unturned Find all documents, relics and GPS caches.

Blissful Save the Marshal from the Bliss (Solo Campaign only).

Big Bang Defeat 20 enemies with explosives

And Then the Universe Explodes Try to mix the decaf and caffeinated coffees

Moronic Drone Get a job

Only George Can Destroy a Tree Destroy a cherry tree

Only Hoagie Can Make a Tree Create a cherry tree

Locked and Loaded Buy all attachments for one weapon (Campaign only).

Data Collector Scan all enemy types

Not So Fast Defeat 25 enemies while they are under the effect of Empowered Slow

Rap Sheet: Kleptomaniac Pick up 30 things that don't belong to you

Rap Sheet: Yegg Open the safe

Novelty Enthusiast Get all six novelty items

Voiding the Warranty Try to put something metal in the microwave

That Only Works with Alligators Try to flush the hamster

Obvious, Really... Make it rain

Windsock it to Me Change the flag

Changing Lanes Perform a Vehicle Takedown from the passenger seat of a vehicle (Campaign Co-op only).

Costume Quest Clothe Laverne in the costume

Rap Sheet: Vandal Deflate Oozo

That Joke Never Gets Old Squirt five different people with disappearing ink

WWSCD? Climb through the chimney with all three kids

Of Course It Would Still Weigh the Same Get a tiny sweater

Missing Pink Try to mix the red paint and the Booboo-B-Gone

Oh Right, I'm Playing a Cartoon! Make a skunk

Don't Try This at Home Microwave the frozen hamster

Chateau Eau Neaux Make vinegar

It's an Honor Just to Compete Enter the human contest

You Call That a Hint? Try to wash the dirty car with the brush

Far, Far Away... Drive a total of 50 km

Coffee Achiever Wake up Dr. Fred

Rap Sheet: Cheat Disqualify Harold

Behind Every Great Man Is a Quality Roadie Red makes a super battery with only a little help from Hoagie

It's an Honor Just to Compete But Winning Is Better Win the human contest

Dialog Puzzles Are Hard Get Fred to sign the contract

You Suck Vacuum up a hamster

Rap Sheet: Adventure Gamer Pick up 45 things that don't belong to you

Number Two Power Laverne's Chron-o-John

Flush Acquire a diamond

Number One Power Hoagie's Chron-o-John

Stocked Garage Buy 3 vehicles to populate your garage (Campaign only).

Chef Cook the hamster in Maniac Mansion (Don't try this at home, kids!)